Over the years I've come to believe that one of the greatest obstacles to experiencing God is the feeling that I must somehow find Him.

So much of my spiritual life was spent searching—reading, studying, praying, trying to understand, trying to become someone more worthy of the Presence I longed to know. Even sincere seeking can quietly carry the assumption that God is somewhere else, waiting to be discovered if only I learn enough or do enough.

Lesson 189 gently overturns that idea.

It doesn't ask me to search harder.

It asks me to stop.

"Forget this world, forget this course, and come with holy empty hands unto your God."

Those words have become increasingly meaningful to me. Even the Course itself, remarkable as it is, is not meant to become another possession of the mind. It is meant to lead us to a place where we no longer cling to concepts at all.

We are invited to lay down every image we hold of ourselves, every opinion about the world, every certainty we have collected, and simply become available.

There is extraordinary freedom in those empty hands.

The lesson goes on to say something even more comforting:

"You need not know the way to Him. Your part is simply to allow all obstacles...to be quietly removed."

How different that is from the way I once imagined the spiritual path.

I thought it depended on finding the right practices, the right beliefs, the right experiences. But God does not need me to chart the course. Love already knows the way.

My part is much simpler.

Be still.

Release what I think I know.

Stop trying to direct the journey.

Allow.

That is why today's lesson begins with the declaration, "I feel the love of God within me now." It isn't something we repeat because we already feel it perfectly. We repeat it because we are learning to become quiet enough to notice what has always been there.

As the lesson teaches, we see what we carry within. When fear fills the heart, the world reflects fear. When the love of God is remembered within, the same world begins to shine with innocence, mercy, and quiet joy.

Nothing outside has changed.

The light has simply been allowed to shine through.

Today, my prayer is not to find God.

It is to come with empty hands and discover that Love has never lost sight of me.